The most often asked question I suspect is, “What is my purpose?”. The reason I think this to be true, so often from my coaching clients and friends I hear that they feel lost or stuck. And I know, from personal experience, you then think, “If I just knew what my purpose was I wouldn’t feel this way.”
Then we go on this search, that maybe this is it or this. Literally like throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks. We become so frustrated because it seems like a never ending roller coaster that we just can’t get off. Full of highs and lows, some loop-de-loops, and hopefully no vomiting (yuck). Yet we continue getting on, constantly on the search because we know there’s something more.
Can I let you in on a secret to what I’ve discovered? The reason why you are constantly on that never ending chase of finding your purpose is because you won’t find it outwardly. Meaning, what you’re looking for is not found other than within YOU. YOU are your purpose. By seeking things that are not a part of you that you think will make you “whole” (because essentially that’s our mindset when we feel lost or not fulfilled) is actually distancing you farther away from your purpose. Here is my story:
I had been a successful professional photographer for years. Building my business from the ground up, renovating a beautiful studio, no worries of not having enough clients and I was PASSIONATE about my work. Until I hit rock bottom and the doom of the trenches of divorce. I ended up selling my studio and closed that chapter. I don’t believe that is what caused me to lose my passion for photography. I believe it was shifting me into the direction of doing the work to be IN my purpose. If you are Spiritual, you will know this as being referred to as the dark night of the soul.
Over a course of 10 years I had gotten random jobs, totally outside of what I had been used to. From working in a hospital to being a project manager for a marketing firm. I believe those were means to only help me financially because when I wasn’t working, I was DEEP into doing inner work. Working on forgiveness, towards others and myself. Doing the inner child work that I had neglected, always shoving it to the side as if it wasn’t all that important. Let me tell you, it IS important! Nearly the most important because the trauma that we experience as a child has whole heartedly shaped us into who we are and our perception of EVERYTHING. Including the types of relationships we have with others. Mind blowing right?!
At the beginning of that 10 year span, I most certainly felt lost. Wondering if I would ever find my purpose. What I found is that as a society, we are overwhelmed by so much marketing, social media and news always with messaging of us not being enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, fit enough….without their product or service. When we consume it at our fingertips, on average 144 times a day, it’s no wonder why so many feel disconnected to who they truly are.
That outward seeking is doing more harm than good.
Along my own journey of doing the inner work, I found that I wanted to lean into it. No matter the heartache or tears, I knew that it was necessary in order for me to acknowledge it and finally release it. The more I did that, the more aligned I felt. Aligned with love, Self, God, purpose…all of it. Things began to shift outwardly. Friendships fell away and new ones bloomed. I became more Self aware, observing how I felt around others, social media accounts and even places. Taking note and setting boundaries.
You are already purposeful, whole, loved and enough. Your PURPOSE is to do your inner work of BELIEVING that so that you quit seeking outwardly and asking your circumstances (the job, the spouse, the children, the house) to give you purpose. You already have it.
I have a little exercise for you that will help you discover more about yourself and that I have done multiple times over the years. I feel like it’s something that sparks fun ideas, helps you to dream and actually can help to start seeing where some of your limiting beliefs are about yourself. So grab a pen and paper (some markers and fun paper if you wanna be extra). Ready?! GO!
- What do you love to do?
- What are you good at?
- What can you be paid for?
- What does the world need?
Do you see anything that’s overlapping in any of the areas? When answering these, take note of what’s coming up and write it down. That’s all a part of the process.
Share your thoughts and what you find. You’re not alone in this journey….
