One day I realized I’d spent years introducing myself with labels.
I’m a photographer. I’m a business owner. I’m a wife. I’m a marketing coordinator. I’m a mom. I’m a girlfriend.
None of those things are wrong. But what happens when one of those labels changes?
When the business closes. When divorce happens. When the kids grow up. When you change careers and when the thing you’ve always been known for no longer feels like you.
It’s unsettling.
Because somewhere along the way, we mistake what we do for who we are. And that became crystal clear to me recently. Maybe that’s why so many of us feel lost during life’s many transitions. We spend years building an identity around roles that were never meant to define us.
I’m learning that identity isn’t something you earn. It isn’t a job title. A relationship status. A follower count or a business card. Those things may describe parts of your life. They were just never meant to become your identity.
For me what brought light to this is, I’ve been trying to figure out what I genuinely enjoy in this season of life. I’ve been surprised by how difficult that question has been to answer. At first, I thought something was wrong with me. How could I not know what I like?
Then it hit me.
The first half of my life was spent in giving mode. Raising kids. Building a business. Showing up for clients. Helping people.
Putting everyone else’s needs ahead of my own.
The joy I felt came from doing for others. There wasn’t much time left to ask myself, “What do I enjoy simply because I enjoy it?”
Now my kids are grown. The photography business I built no longer defines me. And for the first time in a very long time, I get to focus on me. As freeing as that sounds, it can also feel incredibly disorienting. Because when you’ve spent years identifying with what you do for everyone else, you eventually have to answer a different question.
Who am I when no one needs anything from me? Maybe that’s why this season has felt so confusing. I’m not just discovering new hobbies or interests. I’m meeting the version of myself that never really had the chance to exist.
Maybe clarity doesn’t come from finding a new label…maybe it comes from letting go of the old ones.
